David Gunn [composer, writer, isosogist]

Postcard parables are short stories that, for nearly a decade, I’ve written on the backs of postcard-size images and mailed to a person who I know only as Queen Quantoo. Thanks to a really teeny typewriter, I’ve managed to squeeze up to 450 words of crucial exposition onto a single card. New stories added every so often!

Acme Tent	Collectomometer	King Bob	Open Range	Torobongo
Agent Jetglas	Convertin	Lake Portage	Ozzie and Tanya	Trigger, Part 1
At Carnegie	Dear Patty (1)	Leaf Peepers	Phyllis’ Transformation	Trigger, Part 2
Atomic Robot Corp.	Dear Patty (2)	Loch Ness	Pied du Gorille	Trigger, Part 3
Baby Quantoo	Doris’ Piano	Lois	Pie R Squared	Tuna P. Wiggle
Balloonman	Dr. Beezer	Longsnouts	Pringler Hat	Ulnuf
Bat Mann	Eat At ...	Louie Louie	Professor Smacko	What You Want
Bicycle Queen	Eating Right	Lulu	Queen Quantoo	Willie Sutton
Big Gingham	Esther’s Inheritance	Marge	Red  Team	Wobblies
Black Bart	Farmer Brown	Mascaraman	RMS Olympic	Yarngirl
Blanche’s Bad Dream	First Aid	McGillicuddy Sisters	Sedoña Cactus	Zontamk, Part 1
Bonnie and Clyde	Flora and Flossie	Merle’s Headache	Sheila	Zontamk, Part 2
Boondock	Fred	Mick Rat	Sour Grapes	Zontamk, Part 3
Collette’s Big Hat	What’s Behind Rags?	The Power of Suggestion	Size Matters	In the Kitchen at Midnight
Boys in the Band	From Ventnor	Milt	Stepford Plan	The Decapitamometer
Brad’s Bad Day	Gerard	MoleTown	The Fence	The Pringler Call Center
Bud Bottoms	Gert Jonnys	Moon Mullet	The Hairdresser	Starbucks
Buddy	First Contact 1	Mr. Garibaldi	The Whale	Armed and Dangerous
Bunnysaurs	I’m Melting	Mr. Television	The Zenith	The Bubble Dome
Bunyip Bedpans	Jacques Spratt	Ninjas	Tidybowlman	Never-U-Fail
Cementland	Jim Bango	Oh, Noh!	Tony the Toe	Casa Shirley
Benö Guttman	Pedro Piper	The Preventilator	The Pringler Chimneysweeper	The Double A’s
That Lightheaded Feeling	Or Best Offer	Clobber and Fungie	Aquerulous	Triomegunberg
Olé	The Slug	At the Banketbakkerij	The Braincage	The McGillicuddy Backstory
Is that a Gun in your Pocket?	The Great Malaxo	Big Ed	Schwinndjammer	Sunhats
Bésame Mucho	Queen Quantoo’s Change of Life	The MMRL	Gretchen’s Songbirds	La maison du nez
The Hypnagogue	Dora the Demolition Dancer	How Many Fingers?	For better or for worse	Julie and L’étrange
Caveat Emptor	Fidough and RoveR	Aqua Nun	The Dog Whisperer	What Knot?
Fred and Freda	The Soothsayer	The Apple Pickers	Florsheim	Wrongheadedness
The Kyphosis Cure	The Ventriloquist	The Somnambulist	Identical Twins	Funny Money
The Dish and the Spoon	The Fly	The Perm	Calamity at the Debutante Ball	What Lemuel Hath Wrought
Missfallen Sie nicht Ilse!	The Third Corollary	Convert-a-Gender™	Jarabe Tapatío	The Windows of Luigi Peccadillo
Nora	Acme Adult Diaper Co.	Personal Secretary	Meptang, Merchant of Chains	Jumbo’s Blind Date
Forkman	Robin’s Eggs	The Acupressurer	Eye of the Hurricane	Captane Jujjoo
Nettie and Betty	Edna Sue and the DNCR	How Big?	Pothead	No Complainer, He!
The Drac-u-Latte	The Perfect Likeness	The Iceman Cometh	Lola Palooza Airways	Nutri-Clyster
Next Available	The Woxes	Duck and Cover	The Rockettes	Clear Enunciation
High Society	The Transferatron	Silver Queen	Cloak and Dagger	Acme Dance Partner
The Vasectomizer	Laksheesh	Spoonful of Honey	The Liposuctionizer	Dr. Pincatcher’s Legacy
The Class Project	The Dowser	Collateral Damage	The Manicure	The First Step
Jaws	Jeeves	Queen of the Night	King Sullivan’s Mine	The Brand in Demand™
World’s Funniest Joke	Ding!	Skeeters	Flingspearing	Out-of-Body
The Expandomometer	At Chez Kibble	Dalton versus Brutus	Secret Shriner Handshake	Esther
Fluffy	Across the Steppes	Julie Jupiter	An Embarrassing Moment	World’s Greatest Wiper
Goo Goo G’joob	The Daring Dinklakers	The Zaparo Brothers	Multitasking	Les Flambeaux
Alfred Eisenstatic	The Hyper-eyeballometer	The Mobile Phone	A Fish Story	Head in a Tuba
The Carney	The Flamboni Way	Kitchen Magician	The Venus Flydress	Boxing Day
The Preakness, 1956	Pickleberry Jam	You Are Getting ... Sleeeepy	The Everly Brothers	Early Gort
The Boy Who Walked on Water	Whither the Crumbsnatcher?	Lot’s Lot	Point and Shoot	Toast
Forrest amongst the Trees	Transformer	The Model 5	Amazing Amelia	Ringaround
S+R÷T=VG	Carspotting	The First PDA	Tweet!	Newton’s Third Law
Group of Ten	Chester and Nikita	Minnie and Mickey I	Minnie and Mickey II	The Foot Warmer
Contretemps	Floaters	Merit Badges	The Best Things	In the Eye of ...
The Onset	The Poundometer	Empirical Data	The Pipe Cleaner	Crabby Old Lady
Le Big Boy	l’Ecran Magique	Ant Farm Weekend	The Pen	The Dirty Bird
Madame Zaborga	Eternal Masculinity	Electric Shoes	Advantage: Acrocephaly	Tripudio Oculus
Ketchum	The EQs	Sweet Revenge	A Conchous Decision	The Yukonians
All Sales Final	Cuticulum Enlargibilis	Cow Vows	Acute Vasomotor Flush	Fat Man
Proceed To Fire!	I ♥ What?!	Bobby	Leave it to Cleaver	Die Falschen Nasen
Be Careful ...	Dial-A-Hypnotist	On the Road	Which Came First?	Lawn Darts circa 1966
Free Kick	Little Audrey	Catch It If You Can	Drink Dinklaker Tea	Suitcase Living
Exceedingly Hand-some	Sentience Sentry	Eighth and Sycamore	Waiting for You-Know-Who	The Clockhat
Myrna	The Swan Maiden	Pinocchio: The Later Years	The Man of 1,000 Faces	Tuesday Welder
The Multitasker	Buffaloland	Smack in the Zaknob	On the Steps	Mickey Mouse Mob
Acme Turbo Bath	Gen. Tso’s Chicken	Prelude to Guernica	World’s Biggest Sneeze	The Krocwich
Cankles	Fred and Ginger 1	Fred and Ginger 2	Ups and Downs	At the Borborygmus Ball
Taxi-dermy	Point, Shoot, and Cheer	First Contact 2	Sheeplady	The Acme Hairnet
Brad’s Barbecues	The Blemtaur	First Contact 3	Canadian Brass	Jack + Jill
Rudolph	The Kitchen Magician	First Contact 4	The Jungle Cruise	The Model 2
An Unethical Experiment	Doctors Without Internes	Eeeeeee!	Batman	The Model 3
Ethel and the Merman	The New Hire	Le crachoir électrique	At the Car Wash Institute	From Humble Beginnings
Sumo-Cat	DECC	Blame it on Lola	Girl in the Moon	Ferrante and Teicher
El Sapo Gordo	In a Foreign Nasal Corridor	The Fall of London Bridge	Veni, Vidi, Vici	Birth of the Lightsaber
One Two, One Two	The Breema Manipulation	Babyface	The Master Camouflager	The Avid Fisherman
Acme Pencil Sharpening Co.	The Divine Joe Lewis	Obliterato vs. Audrey	Launch of the Cruise Missiles	You Get What You Pay For
There was an old woman ...	Bongo Fever	The Footwear Filcher	The White Mud of Minsk	Le Lapin Puissant
Invisibaton	Baker’s Man	Statues Ain’t So Smart	More Collateral Damage	The Scapegoat
Godzilla: The Early Years	Lemon Queen	The Higgs Boson	Earl the Hurl	When Hamsters Conquered the Earth
No Pain, No Gain	Jerome’s Driving Test	The Brisman	Bring It On!	Homo Squirrelli
1500 p.s.i.	Travel Restrictions	When GPS Units Go Bad	What Bob Felt	The Stretch-o-Matic
The Distraction	The Once Promising Spook	How to Serve Pancakes	The Brothers Hasenpfeffer	The Gagman
The American Way	Monstrosis	The Chain Smoker	Form Follows Function	A.k.a. Robert Zimmerman
Bait	Heart Surgery	El Brazo Recto	The Dinklaker Effect	The Diorama
Right vs. Wrong	The Donor	The Aesthetician	The Crocodilogist	Shuffleboard: The Beginning
The Bat-chyderm	Mel and Sheeba	Eva’s Housecleaning Service	Der Yodel-Off	Gladys Ginormous
The DDDDetector	The Number 6	The Proto-Airstream	Wind Noise	The Shoeshine
At the Hair Stylist	The Carpus-Bearing Clock	Enid	When worms fell from the sky	At Santa’s Laboratory
Gobsmacked	A Barrel of Laffs	Mrs. Godzilla	The Best Barber in the World	Bernard
The Hair Salon and Body Spa	The Original Odd Couple	Yucca Flat	The Tambourinistas	Je ne sais quoi
Dapper Dan	Bird	The Knitter	Joyce, Jeannette, and Monica	The Lamprey Liberation League
The Merry Men	Hypocrisy	Grapefruit Queen	Yin and Yang	The Broomers
Norman	The New Food Court	Distracted Driving	Oops	Whence the Red Nose?
Cousin Enid	The Moltaphant	That Fateful Saturday	Pie in the Sky	Parallel Parking
The Testimonials	The Takeover	Do the Hokey-Pokey	Ol’ Squinty	Attention to Detail
The Dinky Dinklaker	The Dinkbots	Mother Goose	Jack and Jill IV	Wynken Blynken, and Nadine
Dewey’s Discombobulation	Car No. 13	Saving Space	Disneyland: The Beginning	Blue Bonnet
Help, Help!	The Chairman	Albuminoid Pingo Dingback	The Oculoplastic Surgeon	Earn Big Money!
Huitzilopochtli	Flossing	Vikki and the Viksens	The Grindstone	Zap Trap
Paris Electrique	That Savory Glaze	Bigfoot	Rigor Crus	Coyotepuncture
Heimlich’s Maneuver	Clean Sweep	When Cheerleaders Fell from the Sky	The Angels	Another Chance
Wartgirl	6' 10½"?	Double Action	Klukkendanz	Extemporaneous Urban Forager
Larry + Enid	Lilliputitis	Best Friends	Champion Cartwheeler	The Once Consummate Waitress
Drip Dry	The Edicycle	Yet Another Chance	The Mark IV	Shark Deterrent
The Chaperone	Earl Smorgasbord	Worse Than Hives	Rule 15	The Beulah
The Long Rue	Binky	Molto Diablo	Approach, Flight, Entry	Little Eva
Faithful Fido	Welcome Wagon	Tongularum Conelli	Rematch!	The Oft Fickle World
Bob	The Penguin Spellbinder	Suture Self	The A-6	Truth in Advertising
Flying	Flying School	Where is Billy?	Sixty Rubles	Beware ...
The Record	The Conductor	The Evolution of Invention	Deidre	Tango Nuevo
De Rit in de Kist	Room 81	Joey Jetliner	Making Do	The Great Malaxo Returns
Konfetti Gesellschaft Wiesbaden	The Medusa Effect	The Great Malaxo 3	Et Tu, Rahway?	Scale of Stinky Fish
Caveat Emptor Redux	Go Excelsior!	Get Down	The Bosco Brothers	Quakeskis
The Kansas Grand Prix	The Judge	Hey, Look!	Snakes	Collateral Damage II
Dig It!	Le Tour	Using His Head	Who Knew?!	Eunice
Skullp	Jerome P. Tabla	Willie, the Flying Whale	Incognito	Arthur P. Toscanini
The Blackburns	Bartholomew P. Wolf	Fred + Ginger III	The Wormhunters	Attila’s Gastronomic Legacy
Fury	Before the Seatbelt	Dances With Goats	Potquid Nam Truffglog	Xotquid
OOO to the Rescue	A Footnote	The X Note	Abuse	Bye-bye, Brad
Trumpetitis	Freefall	The Multi-ductor	Don’t Drink ’n Drive	The Sunken Cathedral
Sabre Dance	The Conduct-o-matic	68 in; 67 out	Practice, Practice, Practice	Mr. Jakkboxx
Fedge	The Dog-a-pult	Shingle Shortage Consequences	Buffalo Bill	Psoriasis Pringlerellum
Shoes and Handbags	Madge and Badger	Hyperflexion	Waffle Music	Specialization
Sinfonia Artarctica	The Octet, First Try	The Octet, Second Try	Deluxe Dipilator	The Unlobster
Ratatouille	The KB Mark IV	Brains!	Better Sans Baton	Mastering the Pentagram
Bermuda Triangles	The Rhinotillexisicist	La Mer: The Real Story	The Remedy	The Real Miss Muffet
The Beetles	I Can Fly!	Fried	The Drumstick’s Story	The Squashed
Some Damn Panda	The Eyeballotomy	NIMBY	Mtumba	Staying Upright
The Typewriter	Bark vs. Bite	The Original Night Visitors	The Hypermegahorn	D.S.I.S.
Fudge	The Acousticians	Pringwarm Dinklaswami	Overengineered?	That Pesky Third Law
The Macaquekaze	Don’t Mess with Mükremim	Santa Out of Season	Big Ken	Cecile
The Pajama Courier	The  Blade-O-Buick	Swan Lake	The Suppositor	Good Intentions
Dolly Llama	Zelicious and Zavory	Guptil	I Piccioni	Gadzook
The Busboy	On Thursdays	A Hard Fiscal Choice	Shinnnns!	Violintusoribus
Engaged!	The Tip	The Untimely Sprain	Lorna and Leo	Kolme Sokea Hiiri
Peepzilla	Voicemail’s Original Voice	The Young Jack Ripper	The Nunerizer	Stielhandgranaten
The Shadowgraphers	The Appleseeder	Bad Karma	Trumpetor Jumbolorum	Miss Lightbulb
Mugplog to the Rescue	The Best of Times ...	The Fightin’ Narwhals	Black Tie and Tails	Frankencollie
The Deprogrammee	Graveyard of the Chairs	Stan, the Steelpan Man	Lonken-tom Syndroom	Alfredo’s Head
The Marshmallow King	Brain Food	Whistler Sisters	Advantage: House	Oh, those Fingertips!
The M-Phone	When Roads were for Sheep	This Is/Was Your Life	Radio Activity	Factory Fresh
Judo Menudo	Read the Fine Print!	The Delinquent Miners	In Yeghegnadzor	The Bends
Uncured Like Ham	Valet Parking	Meet The Composer	The Flatusophonist	The Bartered Bride
A Relative Term	The DIY RPG	Perfect Timing	A Million Bucks	Bowser. And Meptang.
Where’s Dobbin?	The Rule Breakers	The Trouser Testers	That Anosmia Edge	Mesocyclone in C Minor
Jascha’s Revenge	The Flying Frenchman	Big Denny	Isabelle Unconvinced	The Clamorphone
The Swan of Jim Bob Tuonela	The Allergy	Attacca!	The Bat Girls	Zarpox
Inflation Services	The Audition	The Rats in the Walls	Enrico Robinson Caruso	Stop the Music
Spicy!	Overcoming Shortcomings	Amaurosis stupidulum	Poor Angus!	Andrea Segovia
The Nova	Live and Learn	Pagliacci Male	The Warning	Grotta Alitosi
Market Research	The Elk Tamer	32 ft/s²	Bobnak	The Shout Out
Viva DCA	The Cause of Trismus Revealed	The Handicap	100 Headphones	The Typo
Where’s Hamish?	The Mark VI	No-U-Steer®	Head on a Stick	Funa-zushi
Willard	Pringler Quality Hat Racks	The Illumbaton	Old Habits Die Hard	Those Extra Nutrients
Fred + Ginger IV	Trio Ausonia	Don’t pooh-pooh the juju	Aunt Meptang	The Birdbath
The Ethnic Cleaner	Fredcrow	Incident in Row W	Neoplasms Down	Lulubelle’s Remarkable Talent
Only Yu	The Shiftbogger	Show and Tell Day	Yvonne	When Not to Salivate
After a Hard Day	The Likeness	Before Socky	At the Big Red Tie	Sticking It Out
Beulah Pavarotti	Pumpkin	The Riesenklavier	The Mighty Meptangs	Shuffle-Off
Notes from the Journal	Way Out	How to Ding	The Human Piñata	The Human Loudspeaker
Pringlerville Gardens	Escape from Alcatraz	Kronos: The Early Years	Can You Catch It?!	Valkyrie Sky Ride
Nexus	Two Measures Early	With Passion	The MacArthur Fellow	If a tree falls ...
Perchance to Dream	The Gibichungs	The Witness Tamperer	Shake it All About	Dinklaker Quality Instruments
In from the Cold	Guess Who ...	The Mute	Ursine Valet Parking	The Big Bass Drum
The Berlioz Belles	The Nose	Cricket(s)	Leggierissimo	Not 57 Minutes
Emil	Regret	Inside the Box	First Man on Mercury	9 + 6

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