THE HISTORIC ONSLAUGHT CENTENNIAL DAY ADDRESS

ellow Friendoids, Clonans, and Galactopersons. One hundred Universal Years past, the complexion of our Universe underwent both unforgettable and unremembered changes, bringing us from pre-karfrontal times to the present days of lowered neuro-guava stress, peaceful co-cloning, and the Multicommand Ecstatocaster System. On this day we are all, I am sure, filled with gratitude and sweetness for the contributions of one humanoid who, even lacking the special powers possessed by his superiors, almost single-handedly saved us from collective enslavement."

Kiborde pa-Karmora, President of the Gala-Federation, shifted his Smegophone slightly on a signal from the Kinevue mu-tricameroid.

"The one of whom I speak is with us tonight to receive the Multicommand government’s highest honor, The Stardome!

"As we know from the Intragalactic Historical Frames, he is one who, once called Mad Luigi, sacrificed his own biobrain to protect the antecedents of our Magnetic Nuns. But today, though Star Luigi be dead, through the cosmagic of the Imagocaster, he will speak to us later in this necromission.

"Let me now take a few moments to review our centuric progress, and comment on the implications of our history.

"One-third of a millennium past, Saturnians were still shrouded under self-protective anoatmospheric shields; Terrans were taking their first steps in paths of interplanetary violence and ecoservative waste; Gwed-Quatuk, now gone, was yet unborn; in fact, the face of the galaxy was one of total asensual isolation, locked into inefficient time-space travel coherences and bioform/use fixations.

"If there is one thing for which we must thank Terra, once a comrade and now in hazy exile, it is that without her acquisitive astrogression, we might yet today be a fissionesque universe, with System of Deneb in respectable contact with Unicommand only at Chewball tournaments or Galactic Negotiation Encounter Sessions. Colonists of competing races even today might be aiming Charbeams at each other’s momentary monuments of cultural expression, or enslaving and selling one another at Space Markets ... not to speak of the exopants dilemma.

"But just as every seismic cataclysm results in new mountain peaks, so our interstellar cosmistriations have rent from us our poisonous hates and lifted Multicommand to heights of moral refinement.

"So as we remember our past foes -- Quand 12, Treflin Karmora and her siblings, and countless others -- let us well recall and revere how the most humble can achieve moral triumph even as they must betray the vile pressures of their own rubbery kind.

"In conclusion, I ask you to welcome with me now the One who fits this cosmologically satisfying description, and to whom I present, in the name of the entire galaxy, our highest award, The Stardome. Please telekine hum-thanks to the One who was known once as Mad Luigi."

The Imagocaster presented his form in pre-karfrontal perfection.

But in a hidden kitchen somewhere on Boondock, a wayward tear sizzled on a thermonuclear wok, as Pike turned his silver-streaked head away from the screen. Light years away and decades past, yet almost impossibly present every here and now, Mad Luigi spoke.

"Atsa nice... thanka you very mucha...."

THE END

The Karmora Papers is Copyright ©1976,1993,1996 by Dennis Báthory Kitsz and David Gunn. All rights reserved. If you enjoy this book, an appreciation fee of any amount may be made to Dennis Báthory-Kitsz or David Gunn at Malted/Media Productions, 176 Cox Brook Road, Northfield VT 05663.

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