BACK TO BOONDOCK

ong was a Latent Hemroid living in fish and occlusion on Tum’s World, but after Simus the Lo had modified the Erudation and Evaporation Facilities to automatically remove any unsightly citizens from planned communities on Boondock, Bong was summoned there to monitor the Concomitant Expansion Protospores, who had moved in to launder the younger Lunch Facilities.

It was just as well that he left Tum’s World, for his amusement-addled ancestors had stuck him with a difficult name, considering that the principal activity on the planet was the translation of all known galactic languages back into Primitive Doorbell, an all but forgotten Boondocko tongue. He hadn’t been able to leave his hatchery without hearing his name called but not called hundreds of times. Bong developed calluses on his hear-pores; he stayed away from Prime Community gatherings; he shrank into obfuscurity.

But no one on Boondock spoke Primitive Doorbell any more...no one except the chewpores, who usually were too busy learning how to laugh with their collective mouths full. So when Bong finally arrived there and heard no one uttering his name, he became considerably unnerved. His hear-pores, straining to catch even a glimmer of his space moniker, atrophied and developed soft splotches.

Blinking involuntarily, Bong settled to work at his new position, which was somewhere between a stoop and a krystoflect.

Although he had never been there, Quand 20E found himself fleeing back to Boondock. His rescue attempt of the 281 Saturnians held captive on Iapetus had been a resounding failure. The unleashing of millions of ticklish atmosperms onto Gwu and Iapetus had, as planned, again disrupted the colonists...but they had also unexpectedly attacked the Sinus-neutralized prisoners, turning them into so much demolecularized shag carpeting.

Meanwhile, the anoshield-protected Saturnians, who humbly survived in the hidden carcass factory, had just discovered the game of Chewball and were now locked in serious planetary championships.

Thought tendrils arrived from Quand 12 regularly, and it was obvious that the absence of ammoniweeds had driven him to despair, just as he had driven the aerobus to Mokus 5. Quand 12 now looked upon the Likable Triple Cities not as a haven from Mad Luigi, but rather as an end to his debt-ridden existence, and nothing -- not even a merciful author -- could change his course of destiny.

So, Quand 20E decided to make a clean break of things and return to Boondock, where he himself might find temporary shelter and a job. Aboard the armed space trawler, he could expect to spend eight to ten Earth-days before reaching that mysterious syntho-world, depending on the length of the intervening chapters. But with a carcass factory-sized hold full of ammoniweeds, the voyage would be pleasant enough.

Now he projected a concentrated beam of level two telehallucinosis onto his space trawler, and magically the vessel took on all the outward appearances of a giant echoing vegetoid -- a Terran grapefruit.

Snorting a sinusful of ammoniweeds, the speeding Saturnian thought about job security back on Boondock.

The Karmora Papers is Copyright ©1976,1993,1996 by Dennis Báthory Kitsz and David Gunn. All rights reserved. If you enjoy this book, an appreciation fee of any amount may be made to Dennis Báthory-Kitsz or David Gunn at Malted/Media Productions, 176 Cox Brook Road, Northfield VT 05663.

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