The Karmora Papers

Chapter Twenty-Eight


The Elder Lassie of Boondock was holding court for all the residents of her distant colony. A hush came over the empty hall as citizen after citizen failed to approach the wise leader, and petition after petition was not presented. Her weekly work now complete, the Elder Lassie sighed.

"Alone, alone, a world alone. Intone, intone, and maybe clone."

But alas, the Lassie was doomed to be alone ever, for cloning was forbidden on Boondock. Thus, once again as always, the Elder Lassie returned to her boondoir, and began to apply one of the four thousand jars of mudgunpack that that albino travelling interstellar salesman had dumped onto her in her passions aeons ago.

"What a boondoggle," she thought, casting the container aside. And at that -- still being unaware that Melin and Forsander Karmora and their late Blue Bead sister were hurtling towards her planet -- she decided to sled outside to feed her baboons. As old as she was, though, the Elder Lassie never failed to be scandalized by the baboons’ docking maneuvers (as she so euphemistically referred to them), but likewise never failed to shove cans of Simian Saliva Salve into their Ape-o-cages.

Suddenly her skin-grafted Smegovision caught a glimpse of the shiny astroblimp speeding towards indiscreet rendezvous with her distant outpost.

"Lass," she called, and her illegal clone popped through her personal unlisted time- floss panel.

"Lass, dear, ple porto mallo sweet memo pho no worko." The Elder spoke in Astroanto to her proto-kind. "Need too cake-poo pretty um-hum now go yes."

And her Lassieclone hurriedly teleported to the nearby Interstellar Megamall outside Andromeda. Krafgs noisily swimmeled through the plasmosphere which, although somewhat viscous for Venutians and Terrans, was quite satisfactory for the more nimble-gilled creatures who populated this galaxy.

Lassieclone busily programmed her sweetfood purchases and signaled her complaints to the Telemind shop and the bored Krafg Patrosalespeople. Then her Smegophoneclone flashed a message to the Elder Lassie.

"Okay boss um-hum done baby want day off yes?"

An affirmative message shot back, and an ever-so-sly smile crept over Lassieclone’s face, as the reason for the Boondocko cloning became apparent. A mere nanosecond later the passionate electronic love of Lassieclone and Glooka, The Wonder Computer, was consummated!

Back on Boondock, unaware of the long-distant emotions of her proto-kind, the Elder Lassie primped herself in anticipation, giving rise to a chorus of howls from the baboons, at whom she spat instinctively, and who responded by singing the national doxology of their planet, "Oh Boondiful Crustacean Pies," out of respect for the only delicacy on barren Boondock.

At that moment up in the anosphere, Melin and Forsander rolled the Treffie-Bead onto a space trolly, boarded the small vessel themselves, and prepared to pass through the ‘Welcome To Boondock’ illusion that the Elder Lassie had telekined up to them. An eerie shudder trembled through the youngsters as they began their descent into layers of poisonous stellagasses and milkshakes. A terrifying sense grabbed them as they realized the changes that had already, inevitably, begun to affect their cargo.

On a box of Novafrench candies, two small letters were forcing themselves in place. The container now read:


The Karmora Papers is Copyright ©1976,1993,1996 by Dennis Báthory Kitsz and David Gunn. All rights reserved. If you enjoy this book, an appreciation fee of any amount may be made to Dennis Báthory-Kitsz or David Gunn at Malted/Media Productions, 176 Cox Brook Road, Northfield VT 05663.

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