The Karmora Papers

Chapter Six


Paroofa awoke in a semi-prook fixed state, his glazed eyes gradually focusing on the Disaperasor into which he was inexorably plugged. The nearby fudd table reforter monitored his condition, flashing assessments downtown to The Wonder Computer. The latest report read:

Subject: Paroofa/alias Friend Plooba/alias Kitty.
Position: Prone and glazed.
Position: Mind-Fudge Clearance Projector.
Housing Authority: Drawback 90 FrugaHome complex.
Location: Bonezone.
Societal Contributions: Fish anaesthesia volunteer.
Influential Patrons: None.
Wrongdoings: Counterfeit currency dispersal; unauthorized zords administering; unauthorized flight to avoid Glooka confrontation; improper utilization of unidirectional turnstiles; improper creasing of Unicommand Computer Watch Force Officer’s forehead, with intent to confuse.
Altered State: Semi-Prook Fixed State, resulting from the Controlled Happy Lobotomy Plan.
Recommendation: Immediate rehabilitation concerning the use of public lavatorium facilities; reprogramming for utilization in Hall of Glooka, Midtown.

The kineprompter on top of the Disaperasor glowed "on," attracting Paroofa’s now somewhat limited attention.

"Hello yourself, Bonezone Paroofa. This is Glooka, Downtown. You shall now be reprogrammed to lead a useful existence in our lovely society. Step forward to the kineprompter."

A ticklish white light washed over him, prompting him to respond. Paroofa was beside himself. He stepped forward and was also behind himself, as the effects of the W-ray showed no signs of wearing off. His glowing skin crystals bore a striking resemblance to the nearby light aura unit except that his shiny headband had push button controls. Coconsciously, he stroked the alarm button of the skin-grafted Smegophone, which still dangled from his neck.

"Excellent, Paroofa. Now you shall be trained in easy to learn Intergalactic Laymans Language certain important words for use in our lovely society. Place both hands on kineprompter column A."

Paroofa did so, and his half-mind was suddenly flooded with hundreds of wriggly end-o-thoughts:

"... no... yes... maybe... check... caraway... Glooka... contrition... rent control... lavatorium..." The list surged through his semi-prook fixed mind like a Charbeam passes through Excrecrackers. Dimly, Paroofa latched onto a faint memory of plants and Karmoraburgers ... then another burst from the W-ray wiped his mind clear and he was officially reprogrammed:

Stable Potted Ano-Fern, Hall of Glooka, Midtown. next

The Karmora Papers is Copyright ©1976,1993,1996 by Dennis Báthory Kitsz and David Gunn. All rights reserved. If you enjoy this book, an appreciation fee of any amount may be made to Dennis Báthory-Kitsz or David Gunn at Malted/Media Productions, 176 Cox Brook Road, Northfield VT 05663.

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